The Real Me: Confessions of a Camera Whore
I often use words like “girl-mode” or “in drag” or “dressed up” when I crossdress because I don’t like the word “crossdressing.” It makes me think of wearing other people’s clothes—not just women’s clothes—but literally clothes that belong to someone else. These are my clothes. I chose them. I own them. I like them. I think … Read more
Trannysnatchers: Horror Films and Queerness
This past Friday night, I got a chance to attend the premier of Trannysnatchers, a black comedy/horror film made by a troupe of actors, drag queens, and local filmmakers. Billed under the premise of being an indie film “for queers; by queers” I thought it’d be an interesting thing to watch and to see what … Read more
Public Space: The Final Frontier Part II
I think part of the anxiety of of going out into the public space as a crossdresser is laced with the political issues surrounding queerness and the internal negotiations in the individual mind’s that must navigate between what we feel, what we know, and what we want. I’ve talked to countless crossdressers who would say … Read more
So I wait in line… (a rant of sorts)
So I wait my turn, I’m a modern man And the people behind me, they can’t understand Makes me feel like… makes me feel like… So I wait in line, I’m a modern man And the people behind me, they can’t understand Makes me feel like, something don’t feel right Like a record that’s skipping, … Read more
Being Elmo: Why Plot Sucks
Recently I got a chance to watch Being Elmo a documentary about Kevin Clash the puppeteer behind Elmo from Sesame St. While most of the reviews talk about it as a “feel good movie” a documentary about “following your dreams,” what struck hardest about this film was the subtext. I’m not one for saccharine “feel … Read more
The world as it is Vs The world as it should be
I recently began reading Cervantes’ Don Quijote in Spanish on an online archive. I think in terms of subtext Cervantes’ themes have become the base for a lot of my ideas not just about gender, but life in general. I think exploring the “romantic ideal” of anything and testing the boundaries of “madness” have always … Read more
Reconstructing a Song: Part 1
As I mentioned in a previous entry I will be recording a cover version of an old song I’ve been obsessing over and I thought It’d be an interesting project to share how to recording process is coming along. Unfortunately, I have not made much progress. One, I am rusty from not being involved in … Read more
Embracing Your Inner Girl: “I am an emotional creature”
I Am an Emotional Creature By Eve Ensler I love being a girl. I can feel what you’re feeling as you’re feeling it inside the feeling before. I am an emotional creature. Things do not come to me as intellectual theories or hard-pressed ideas. They pulse through my organs and legs and burn up my … Read more
My life as a Pataphor
Ever since I moved to the U.S. I was given a hard time because I didn’t listen to “Latino” music. What people meant, was that I didn’t listen to cheaply-made, cheap-sounding, cheaply-written, cheaply-recorded, Latino dance music. I’m happy to report I still don’t. After talking with a friend about being stuck in a rut with … Read more
Verisimilitude is a Friend of Mine
One thing inherent in the study of writing fiction is verisimilitude. The problem with many fantasy scholars is their reductive attitude towards verisimilitude. Hume, for example, refuses to use the word “realistic,” instead she advocates “mimetic” (a loaded philosophical term, implying a style of fiction that “mimics” life) while scholars like Petzold, prefer “noematic” (I … Read more
